just for men

Advice for men

 

male survivors

Rape is a men's issue for many reasons. One we don't often talk about is the fact that boys and men are sexually assaulted. We need to start recognizing the presence of male survivors and acknowledging their unique experience. The following questions and answers can help us all learn about male survivors so that we stop treating them as invisible and start helping them to heal:

This information has been adapted from Men Can Stop Rape.

Additional Online Resources

 

what men can do

You have the power, with other men, to put a stop to rape and other kinds of men's violence against women.

1. Check yourself. Examine your own attitudes and actions. Some of the ways you act or the things you believe, whether you know it or not, may actually support rape. Some examples of these are:

With women you see in public:

With women you know personally, whether casual or intimate:

2. Check your men friends: confront their attitudes and actions when they do any of the above.

3. Do the same thing about homophobia--attitudes or actions you or other men might have that are anti-gay. Recognize homophobia and speak out against heterosexism. Discrimination against lesbians, gays, bisexual and transgender people is actually one way we use to try to prove to each other that we're "real" men.

4. Learn about yourself.

Watch documentaries and read articles, essays, and books about masculinity, gender inequality, and the root causes of sexual violence. Educate yourself and others about the connections between larger social forces and the conflicts between individual men and women. Some resources are:

Video:

Books:

Some websites run by men taking a stand against sexism include:

5. Don't put your money into anything that, subtly or in the open, supports violence against women. That means boycotting magazines, videos, music, comics, websites, radio and television that portray women in a sexually degrading or violent manner. Notice that these portrayals actually also put down and delimit men's sexuality-or make it invisible. Tell your friends. And make noise about it: tell the people who produce these products to cut it out.

6. Support and fight for increased funding for battered women's shelters, rape crisis centers and campus resources for women-and women's sports.

7. Organize or join a group of men in school, at your workplace or among friends to work to end sexual assault and other forms of violence against women. A great place to organize is among existing men's groups, in athletics, fraternities and elsewhere. All over the country, from Wisconsin to Harvard to Berkeley, men students are stepping up and speaking out!

8. Volunteer in public schools, youth outreach and childcare centers and other organizations. These are places where, often, women are doing the work. They could use your help, and young people could use your presence.

9. Listen to women. No sexual assault survivor is ever at fault; no one wants or asks to be assaulted. Avoid blaming the victim.

10. Support women's leadership and gender equity. Come out and support No Woman Left Behind, Take Back the Night, and other student groups at ISU who are dedicated to ending the violence against women.